Today's post isn't about politics. Or maybe it is.
This is my fourth post about downsizing.
It addresses the topic of when to quit -- in this case when to quit living in the house where you spent your adulthood and raised a family. Downsizing is both a thing in itself and a metaphor for a larger issue of when to accept that one has entered a new phase of life marked by the frailties of age.
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| A Sandford Borins selfie |
Guest Post by Sandford Borins
Standing strong by staying put
I’m teaching a narrative and management course this semester and use a variety of short videos to illustrate Aristotle’s three types of persuasion: logos, or logical argument; ethos, or appeal to authority; and pathos, or emotional appeal. Commercials for reverse mortgages by Canada’s Home Equity Bank (HEB) neatly illustrate the distinction.
The most frequently aired commercials (for example last night on CBC Newsworld) rely on logos and ethos. The concept of a reverse mortgage is explained by means of graphics and an extra-diegetic narrator (logos). The retired Canadian figure skater Kurt Browning has become HEB’s spokesman, which lends him a kind of authority, though it is based on his athletic achievements rather than financial expertise (ethos). An additional appeal to authority is a graphic showing endorsements by the Canadian Association of Retired Persons (CARP) and the Canadian Legion. The explanation of the concept is incomplete because the commercial doesn’t say that the borrower will repay the loan after selling the house, nor does it mention interest on the loan. The would-be borrower will discover these aspects when reading HEB’s brochure or calling their information line, both of which are mentioned in the commercial.
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| CLICK HERE: https://youtu.be/wywJZ7XlcSw |
Occasionally, HEB runs commercials in which the appeal to seniors is emotional, with the message that a reverse mortgage will enable them to stay in their beloved homes. This message, as my title suggests, is that by staying at home they are resisting the inevitable deterioration of their health that is part of aging. And the commercials depict seniors as resolutely ignoring their children’s pressure, overt or subtle, to downsize. The commercials appeal to seniors’ pride in their vitality and their resentment towards a younger generation that refuses to recognize it (pathos). Here’s one such commercial.
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| CLICK HERE: https://youtu.be/scqa7SAjYLk |
A second commercial is more hard-hitting, with the parents responding to their adult daughter’s suggestion to move into a condo by threatening, tongue in cheek of course, to move in with their daughter and her husband. The parents are implicitly saying, “if you try to infantilize us, we can infantilize you.” Have a look.
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| CLICK HERE: |
A third commercial borders on sketchy. A mother and her adult daughter are having tea; when the daughter sees her father walking awkwardly, she asks her mother if he threw his back out on the stairs, drawing the conclusion that her parents should downsize. When the mother coyly replies that “it wasn’t the stairs,” the daughter, catching her mother’s drift, looks disgusted. The commercial channels the notion, embodied in the psychoanalytic term “primal scene,” that one’s parents’ sexuality is intrinsically cringe-worthy. The mother is boasting of her vitality because she remains sexually desirable and sexually active. This commercial is logically flawed, because whether the parents live in their current home or something smaller should have no impact on their sexuality. But sexuality is used as an indicator of the parents’ youthfulness.
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| CLICK HERE: https://youtu.be/7f1jZdVPKYI |
I find these pathos-evoking commercials valuable, because in a humorous way, they raise several fraught issues between aging parents and adult children: parental independence, eventual dependence of parents on their children, and the intergenerational transfer of wealth.
These commercials came to mind just now because our young adult children, who normally live with us as a response to Toronto’s expensive housing market, are away this week. The house feels very large. But, unlike the commercials, they’re in no hurry for us to leave. In fact, next week we’re having the house painted. So here we stand.
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12 comments:
Some time ago, I injured myself in a bootcamp-type gym class. It helped me realize there are two main components to aging gracefully. One is to remain as independent as possible and not be a burden to others. The other is to accept our limitations and not become a danger to ourselves and others. We need to exercise, but it doesn't need to be burpees and jumping jacks.
There’s a point at which clinging to our car keys and highly demanding jobs becomes unsafe. Maybe it’s time for both Trump and Biden to become Walmart greeters.
Free money - sign me up. Not.
I kind of have the same problem. A Large house, a beach house, and a condo in FL. Why do I need the large house? I wouldn't mind selling it, but here's the main problem: Stuff. After over 40 years of stuff, what do I do with it all? My kids will only want maybe 10% of what I have. What about the rest of it? Most of the stuff is really good and I'd hate to throw it away. Garage sales are out because people want to offer you nothing for your expensive precious stuff. Then what? The answer is you keep it and let your kids deal with the stuff when I'm no longer around. Then it's their problem. Sorry, kiddos.
We don't need a president who can do jumping jacks.
This country needs a POTUS who has experience and ethics. Biden meets those qualifications, TFG does not.
Yes, I wish President Biden was in his 50s so he could serve longer, but I also wish I was in my 20s (and likely so does everyone else reading this).
It's not always about your abilities but what you can offer others.
Biden has a stable, experienced team that has already accomplished good things for Americans.
TFG offers nothing but hate and corruption.
At the heart of it is pride. In the West we have this illusion of independence. My grandparents were immigrants and grew to be elderly before pensions, 401Ks and even home “ownership” (I put that in quotes because I discovered that we may hold title for a while but never really “own” anything- but I digress)
My grandparents lived with their children and had full, rich and meaningful lives right to the end.
I worked for a while in Singapore where the housing is by lottery depending on your family situation. Adults who have their elderly parents live with them are given larger apartments as an incentive. The retired Minister of Health told me that people live longer and are more healthy when they are in multigenerational housing. I think in our hearts we know this, but are still captive to the tantalizing story that independent living is always best.
And HEB capitalizes on that.
Peter, have you ever figured out how much you are spending just to store your stuff?
I don't mean by renting a storage unit but by the square footage occupied by your possessions.
It's a great exercise. Think about the cost just to store your car.
Once you realize the costs you will see that your stuff owns you, which reduces your independence.
It gives the older generations a way to continue to contribute to society, which is great and should be valued in the US.
See my post above about Biden's abilities.
We don’t need a president who can do jumping jacks, but it would be nice if his term ended before his “best if used by” date rather than starting well after it. Of course, Trump is old and criminally insane. New York could help him downsize by seizing Trump Tower and using it to house immigrants. At least Biden knows how to act, but the question is how long he’ll be able to.
At least our Old Guy is quitebphysically fit, still works out and rides a bicycle.
I propose a footrace. Out the exterior door of the Oval Office, around the White House and ending with the first one back through the same door being declared the winner, and TeeVee monitors every inch of the way to forestall any cheating.
You know the republican would cheat. It's like breathing for them.
Most likely Former Guy would claim it was rigged, it was him who really won despite the films showing him collapsed on his gasping for air like beached fish at the second corner.
Collapsed on his fat face. Sorry about the inadvertent deletion.
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