A garden columnist talks to AI

I apologized to my sister for accidentally bumping into her, and began with the words "Hey, sorry."

My i-Pad spoke up in the familiar female voice of "Siri," asking how she could help me. (My i-Pad is alert for the prompt, "Hey, Siri.")

We are communicating with computers whether we know it or not. They eavesdrop. They assist. And in some places where people are doing complex tasks, they are replacing us. But they aren't replacing college classmate Jeff Lowenfels.

Jeff has used computers for half a century. He writes the longest-running garden column in North America, never having missed a week in 48 years. It runs in Alaska's Anchorage Daily News. He gives Alaska readers advice on how to manage their home gardens.

His first book, 2006

An important element of his advice deals with soil management, as indicated by the title of his books; Teaming with Microbes, Teaming with Nutrients, Teaming with Fungi, and Teaming with Bacteria. They are written for a general audience, but there is a lot of science involved, as suggested by the subtitle of his most recent book, "The Organic Gardener's Guide to Endophytic Bacteria and the Rhizophagy Cycle." What in the world is that? Read the book to find out.

Most recent book, 2023

An increasing amount of the work product done by people in the "content generation" professions is done by, or at least assisted by, artificial intelligence. Jeff's newspaper column and books aren't among them. (Nor is this blog.) His columns and books are a labor of his knowledge, his insights, and his words he types into the computer. Jeff has a quirky, humorous style that shows up in his work.

He shared with me an imagined conversation with an AI program as he reviewed his history with word processing. It's a walk down memory lane. Human memory.

Guest Post by Jeff Lowenfels

Dear AI,

I know everyone says it is only a matter of time before you take over and write everything for me. Already, as I type a word, you offer suggestions to finish; all I have to do is push the space bar and the missing letters fill in. Sometimes you type the missing letters, and other times the proper spelling flashes beside my word with an X next to it to select it. There is probably a way to regulate this and just go with one, but you are so damn sure you are going to take over, you don’t have an instruction manual.

Let me tell you, however, I have history here and that makes a difference. Lots of history. I don’t care how well you can write a column, I have been writing for just about 50 years, and I have learned a few things, felt a few things, experienced feedback over more than a few things. You won’t. I have history.

I started writing my weekly column on yellow legal pads and took my columns into the newspaper every week. Mercifully for my editor, I switched to the legal typewriter I stole from my brother. He lived in New York and I figured he would not come to Alaska to retrieve it. I needed it to take the bar exam because I was worried the examiners wouldn’t be able to read my handwriting. I still have it, by the way. I also have the shooter’s earmuffs I donned that week so I could shut out the others who were typing their exams. What a dork I was. But those were the times. Electric typewriters had little balls.

Anyhow, history. I got one of the very first computers to write my column, an Osborne. It was a bit bigger than a sewing machine and twice as heavy. It was considered portable, and I worked on it in bed. I know I was pretty upset when my wife tripped over the chord getting into bed herself. She banned it from the room.

Osborne Portable

Then I discovered this very cool little 32 bit computer, the Tandy Model 100. Someone came up with a modification and sold it so you could squeeze in three lines of type instead of just one and gave it more memory, up to 64k. Cops used them in their cars. You could plug into the internet. It fit into a manila envelope. Wow!

Tandy

A myriad window operating machines followed and ended up in the garage where they still sit. Successively smaller, thinner, lighter and more powerful portables. Soon, they even stopped having handles.

Then my son came home from MIT with a Mac. WTF!!!!? He made us use Windows and now he was on a Mac!

I wrote my column from then on using a Mac and survived through all those years of changes in printer plug designs, dial up modem improvements and different word programs starting with WordPerfect. I used dot matrix printers and sheet printers and laser printers. This all added to my experience; gave me history.

Dot matrix printing

You, AI, will never know because you have no history and don’t need it. You are a vacuum cleaner and suck up my history. But it won’t be the same. And when others read what you write, my history will be missing. There is still a big plus for being a human writer.






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