"The single most destructive thinking error is 'victim stance.' If one is a victim there is nothing to fix. The problem is others. Inmates who use 'victim stance' are the least treatable."
Letter from career prison psychologist
Donald Trump was unhealthy, the psychologist wrote me. He was deep into "victim stance." It might be a winning strategy politically, the psychologist thought. Victimhood gets near nonstop media support via Fox. Fox is backing away from Trump personally, but they embrace and amplify that core Trump message. Everybody is out to get you. Fox says that only they push back against the bias of the mainstream media. Fox dropped its "Fair and Balanced" slogan. Now they are the unabashed counterweight media source. Trump won with that message. America faces poverty, violence, war, and destruction, he said. You are a victim. "I alone can fix it."
"Victim stance" thinking motivates voters. Email fundraising appeals are primary source material. The other side is overwhelmingly powerful and it is attacking you and everything you hold dear. Stop being a victim!
"Victim stance" is the direct opposite of the optimistic Reagan "morning in America" can-do route to personal fulfillment and national greatness. It is a different era now. We are amid "carnage" now. The Trump/Fox world is a dark forest of oppressors: Democrats, Biden, Obama, both Clintons, Pelosi, elitists, liberals, "woke" people, progressives, Blacks, feminists, non-Christians, ANTIFA, immigrants from Latin America and Asia, gangs, big cities like Chicago for violence, liberal cities like Portland, Seattle, and San Francisco for progressive lawlessness, Muslims, China, Fauci, the CDC, Deep State federal employees, groomers, pedophiles, traditional fake-news media, technology firms, George Soros, gun regulators, the FBI, the CIA, the Justice Department, RINOs and Republican turncoats, the January 6 committee, trans athletes, trans people generally, Critical Race Theory, books than normalize LGBT, climate change advocates, electric vehicles, wind turbines, mailed ballots, ballot tabulation machines. . . . The list goes on.
"Victim stance" thinking, as prison psychologists note, is self-destructive. Fundraising consultants tell nonprofit agencies' boards of directors contemplating a major project that if they think they can raise the money, they can. If they think the project is too big, then indeed they cannot. Success depends on attitude.
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| "If I have to, I can do anything." |
The "power of positive thinking" meme sometimes drifts into blaming the victim for outcomes. That is unfair. Adversity is real. Prejudice is real. Oppression is real. My own attitude here is shaped in part by a long career that required attracting and retaining clients. Attitude matters. Salespeople understand this.
There is a difference between the attitude of Black immigrants to America and the attitude of native-born Blacks. One has an expectation of open-ended opportunity; the other a memory of opportunities stifled and denied. Half full vs. half empty. Outcomes differ between the two groups. Second wave feminism of my young adulthood was an optimistic feminism of breaking loose from old restrictions. I call it "Helen Reddy feminism." She sang, "I am strong. I am invincible. I am woman." Current feminism in #MeToo has emphasized longstanding injury, aggressions, micro-aggressions, intractable misogyny.
I think it is possible that every injury experienced by Blacks and women is true. It matters--but it isn't useful. In fact, victimhood is debilitating. So is "victim stance" thinking. Useful is believing one can be better, that one can succeed notwithstanding adversity, that one can make the sale and have a happy client, that this is a great country getting better all the time, and that one can make for oneself a great life out of prison, free at last.
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17 comments:
It’s beyond ironic: The Republican Party once touted itself as champions of “personal responsibility.” It now grovels before a leader who proudly proclaims himself “the most persecuted person in the history of our country.” Which brings to mind a Linda Ronstadt song: “Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me.”
White nationalists may have good reason for concern. Our changing demographics could eventually lead to loss of their privileged status. I can hardly wait to hear the ‘whataboutisms’ from their sympathizers.
Some unintended intersections here? Perhaps a framework for cross-partisan comity.
Blaming others, including (especially) social conditions for perceived victimhood? A partial explanation for record GOP numbers with BIPOC voters, particularly blacks?
Yet culturally-competent prison psychologists know that some victimhood is all too real. Indeed the prison system itself, its New Jim Crow mass-incarceration, epitomizes oppression.
I am almost offended at this blanket smear of supposed self-serving "criminal thinking", when most inmates ARE legitimate victims, there for something done to them, not by them.
Finally, the Reddy reference resonates doubly today after Dobbs, as it might have too had it been a hit in 1974 instead of 1972. "I am just an embryo/With a long long way to go..."
Hmm, a white, able-bodied (as far as I know) male who graduated from Harvard University is comparing 1) criminals 2) extremely privileged and corrupt DJT and 3) his (predominantly) white, Christian nationalist cult to African-Americans and women fighting every single day for equal rights and equal opportunities.
Please save them from themselves and tell them what they Should be doing to please and not offend the white patriarchy. Just ask nicely?
It sounds as if the second part of this post was written by a "kindly" version of Rush Limbaugh... If only women and black people would calm down everything would be just fine.
Unfortunately it appears that the blogger's current "impressions" of African-Americans and feminist (or feminist leaning) women is taken from the Fox News playbook, which includes stereotypes, caricatures, half-truths and information taken out of context or grossly exaggerated. A win for Fox and a loss for intellectual honesty.
This is not the mindset of our current white, male President, Joseph R. Biden, which is why he was elected by Democrats, the party that values women; African-Americans and other People of Color; Indigenous Americans; Americans of all ages; disabled Americans; Americans of different faiths or no faith; poor, low and middle income Americans; environmentalists; immigrants; and LGBT Americans.
Wondering why African-Americans and women were singled out?
Anyone who compares selling investments, financial advice or any other product or service to fighting for legal rights, equal opportunities, fair pay, etc., is living in a delusional dream state.
Systemic racism, sexism, homophobia (since forever) vs. manufactured, "fake" victimhood.
Anyone who does not understand this does not know history and is in denial.
It's been my observation that reformed criminals do come to an understanding of how victimhood contributed to their transgressions. In fact, it's a well-used defense and a consideration in sentencing. However, they also adopt personal responsibility as a necessary component to rehabilitation. As Maya Angelou said, "When you know better, you do better". Or put another way, the percentage of college graduates, black or otherwise, committing car jackings is miniscule.
The crushing burden of income inequality is the cause of crime, especially when you consider the for profit elements of the criminal justice system which in itself is a mechanism for creating its own consumers. At the risk of repeating myself; money is the solution to most societal problems, but not spending enough guarantees failure.
My experience of 30 years working in prisons found that most inmates committed crimes that deserved incarceration. Sex offenders, robbers, fraud, violent offenders require society imposing the word no to them. No, it is not ok to molest children, no it is not ok to rob banks regardless of whatever unfair circumstances happened to them. Operating from a position of being a victim implies you have no power to make your life be a success. Blaming others for your bad behavior shouldn’t be a legitimate excuse should it? If you were molested as a child does that mean it’s ok to be a molester yourself. I’ve had inmates essentially say that to me. No most inmates Are NOT legitimate victims.
A wise man once observed that most of our problems are due to our own behavior, which is why it's so ironic that Republicans, most of whom are privileged whites, and their white, multi-billionaire leader, like to claim they're the ones being persecuted by the 'Woke,' the 'Deep State' and all those other imaginary boogeymen Peter mentioned.
I would differentiate mentally ill, (sociopath, psychopath) low intelligence, possibly congenitally defective individuals from those who fall into criminality through other circumstances, including poverty, abuse, immaturity, and the like. As things stand they are all lumped together if not by the system, certainly in the minds of those who view it simplistically as a matter of character.
It's not "blame the victim", more "shoot the messenger"...
Brave of Peter to go up against some of the basic tenets of identity politics and critical race theory. “Who are you, a (gasp!) white male, to say anything about anything??? Sit back and shut up while we figure out how much reparations you owe!”
The backlash to wokeness is coming, and the woke will not be pleased.
I take it as a kind of compliment that the best critic from the left had to lead off by signaling that I was not entitled to write because of my identity. Whoever you are, you are entitled to an opinion, as am I. We are both citizens, the highest office in the country.
It is a compliment, too, that the critique need to associate it with bad characters--Rush Limbaugh, Fox News playbook. That reveals Unknown cannot confront what I said and had to try to smear it. What if I said that Unknown sounds right out of the Nick Fuentes slash and burn playbook, just another version of anti-Semetic hate speech that every person of good conscience should ignore.
I have been a Democrat for a long, long time and I supported Joe Biden. I have every right to consider Helen Reddy feminism more effective than #MeToo feminism. I lived the second wave feminist breakthrough and consider it the strongest best voice for women and all of us. Jesse Jackson need not apologize for not being "Black enough." He said that Black working people were on the early bus, getting to work, working hard. They were entitled to respect, a good income, a safe country. It is not an insult to Black Americans to respect their work. I consider it disrespectful to them to act as if they are doomed and crippled by circumstances. I was alive to witness Black Pride events when they were new. Black pride is a good thing. Strong women is a good thing.
I watched Joe Biden from six feet away say the thing he says frequently, that there is nothing, NOTHING, Americans can't do if we do it together. It is a can-do message. I agree with it. Joe Biden did not win the election by pandering to the misery of Americans who face problems. He did it by saying we can meet those challenges and thrive. Let Republicans complain it is mourning for America. A few Democrats want to wallow in misery and complain that America is irredeemably misogynistic, racist, and corrupt. Not me. Not Joe Biden. Yes, it is morning in America. True progressives believe in progress, both for individuals and for the country.
I guess we see what we want to see, but my take on what Peter said is this:
Some oppressors are for real, such as male chauvinists and white supremacists. Others not so much, such as the dark forest of oppressors in the Trump/Fox world – elitists, liberals, “woke” people, etc. But whether our oppression is real or imagined, perceiving ourselves as victims will only add to the difficulty of overcoming it. For the latter, it could be as easy as waking up to reality. For the former, it requires overcoming adversity, but we know it can be done because it has been.
Serious question on income inequality versus poverty where causes of crime are concerned. Why is the former considered by so many to be a per se negative, when it seems the real gauge for this purpose should be comparative poverty in absolute terms?
In numbers: if the lowest rung averages 5 and top rung 25, is the lowest rung then better off or worse off if instead they average 10 and the top rung 100? Income inequality is twice as ‘bad” in the second case, though the lowest rung makes twice as much.
As with any group, the vast bulk of blacks commit no crimes. Alienated antisocial and recidivist young men account for the chronic modern disparities. Black Pride in the King-Washington sense is positive; the angry Carmichael-Kendi version is self-destructive.
Mike summarized it perfectly.
The unfairness of things is real. Life isn’t fair. Some people are smart, some not. Some people beautiful, some not. Some people female, some male, some something else. Depending on the culture, some are more advantaged than others. What is USEFUL for an individual is to think you can thrive. Get ahead. Survive. It is debilitating to integrate the mental idea of intractable oppression. If you suspect your labor and wealth will be stolen from you, you make a hundred choices every day that express that presumption.
I refuse to believe that Jews and Asian immigrants are smarter than the average White or Black guy. But they do better in school and do better in socioeconomic success. Black immigrants do better than Native born Blacks. I don’t think they are smarter. I think on average they have different attitudes and expectations. Democrats in academia have pathologized American history and culture. Even if they are somewhat right, it is a dangerous way to think, especially if one doesn’t come to the marketplace with a bunch of personal or social capital. Trust fund babies will be ok even if they think the world is unfair. People in the top 2% of IQ or beauty will be ok, too. But average people from average families—white, Black, Hispanic, whatever— learn dangerous lessons if they integrate into their thinking that the deck is deeply stacked against them and that they are screwed. Their glass half empty. The immigrant mindset is a better one. A more USEFUL one.
Peter Sage
Mike summarized it perfectly.
The unfairness of things is real. Life isn’t fair. Some people are smart, some not. Some people beautiful, some not. Some people female, some male, some something else. Depending on the culture, some are more advantaged than others. What is USEFUL for an individual is to think you can thrive. Get ahead. Survive. It is debilitating to integrate the mental idea of intractable oppression. If you suspect your labor and wealth will be stolen from you, you make a hundred choices every day that express that presumption.
I refuse to believe that Jews and Asian immigrants are smarter than the average White or Black guy. But they do better in school and do better in socioeconomic success. Black immigrants do better than Native born Blacks. I don’t think they are smarter. I think on average they have different attitudes and expectations. Democrats in academia have pathologized American history and culture. Even if they are somewhat right, it is a dangerous way to think, especially if one doesn’t come to the marketplace with a bunch of personal or social capital. Trust fund babies will be ok even if they think the world is unfair. People in the top 2% of IQ or beauty will be ok, too. But average people from average families—white, Black, Hispanic, whatever— learn dangerous lessons if they integrate into their thinking that the deck is deeply stacked against them and that they are screwed. Their glass half empty. The immigrant mindset is a better one. A more USEFUL one.
Peter Sage
If your mind can conceive it, and your soul can believe it, then you can achieve it. M. Ali
Forget Trump for just a moment.
As someone who has been on both sides of the law and education, you cannot diagnose someone with a thinking error, also known as a cognitive distortion. Shame on whatever poorly trained prison psychologist sent you that letter, because he read a 3 page printout and used it to diagnose a patient sans interview.
Cognitive distortions are something *everyone*, criminal or otherwise, use. It's sort of a game in group therapy sessions to call them out by name, much like social media discourse often unravels to accusations of logical fallacy. When analyzed, all form of argument can be found to be at least partially fallacious. You yourself, Peter, likes to point out the anonymity of some of your troll posters as though they are using it like a shield (Ad Hominem) when the trolling itself is sufficient. You are still right to do so, even if it is by definition fallacious.
Cognitive distortions, or thinking errors if you prefer, must be rooted in both the overt and the objective. Here you attempt to draw a line between people in prison and Trump when it reeks of nothing more than classical politics. You've mentioned in a blog post being angry. That's a thinking error.
The prison psychologist perhaps is committing the thinking error of Mind Reading, Fortune Telling, Magnification, or Labeling. Realistically none of this matters because it's as useful as the Myers-Briggs test given by the employment department.
For the record, thinking errors or cognitive distortions aren't diagnoses, they're symptoms. The psychologist wasn't diagnosing anybody, but making observations about thought patterns that create negativity.
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