Jeff Lowenfels was one of the 51 people who ran for Congress in Alaska.
Here's how it went.
I ran for Congress in Alaska’s special election. Just to save you the suspense, I did not win.
Why in hell did I want to run for public office? Frankly, until Don’s Young’s passing, I never gave it a first thought (nor a second one) so ably had Don filled that seat. Besides, he was a friend. He had a thing for a particular magic trick involving money I would do for him. He usually ended by threatening to report me to the FBI if I didn’t show him how to do it. (I never did).
But I digress. (Did I mention I am almost 74?). I owe Alaska an awful lot. I am comfortably retired thanks to her, having raised a wonderful family and lived the good life here for almost 50 years. It just seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was an assistant Attorney General for six of Alaska’s early years so I know how to read and write statutes. When it comes to Alaska issues, I literally represented all of Alaska’s resource agencies and was schooled in the arcane laws that impact Alaskans’ relationship with the Federal government.
I became managing partner of the state's largest law firm with offices across the state as well as in Washington, D.C. I arranged the permits for what was then the world’s largest project and interfaced with dozens and dozens of Federal agencies (requiring a week or so a month wandering the hallowed halls of D.C.) Surprisingly, I was considered a polished and extremely humorous public speaker. Blah, Blah, Blah. Oh, left out that I am decidedly modest. (Somewhere I can dig up a great 60-second radio ad explaining this.)
Moreover, with rank choice voting, surely I could pull it off. Who wouldn’t put their favorite garden columnist, the guy who has been responsible for every Alaskan's yard for 45 years, at least 2nd? Even Sarah Palin takes my gardening advice, sometimes.
Anyhow, I believe the role of Alaska’s lone Congressman consists of only two duties: Make sure Alaska is not forgotten during the Federal legislative and regulatory processes and help Alaskans deal with the federal bureaucracy. As by far the state's largest landowner and employer, the Feds have had their many hands in everything Alaskans do or try to do. In all seriousness, I did this for a living for my clients.
Silly me for not realizing 50 other people would decide they, too, were eminently qualified. It was funny at first. And because of the huge number, it felt like democracy was working once again. We all wanted to serve to help Alaska.
Aggggggh. Fifty-one candidates! Some had name recognition, not the least of whom were Sarah Palin and Al Gross, the nephew of a fellow college classmate of Peter and me. Al Gross spent $18 million to lose a previous race for Senator. Name recognition? A guy from North Pole, Alaska (yes, Virginia, there is such a place) legally named "Santa Claus" was in the race. Yes, I played off being "The Garden Columnist," but Santa Claus? Come on!
You know what happened: Sarah Palin and Santa just sucked the air out of the out of state's news cycles. CNN, MSNBC, probably Fox and Newsmax (I am not a viewer) had stories on the hour. Sarah was making a comeback. Santa's candidacy was just too funny.
Local press? We all got an inkling this was not going to be a normal race when the first articles came out. How do you write a 500-word newspaper article when you need 300 of them to just list the candidates' names, ages, and occupations?
Then there is the Fairness Doctrine. Radio and TV stations couldn’t offer air time to just a select few and not the entire hoard. The one radio group-event consisted of each of us making a one-minute statement. Period. That was not a show destined to get high ratings.
Anyhow, I bet you didn’t know Alaskans also get most of their news from outside sources? (Haven’t you been paying attention the TV show “Alaska Daily?” About a state paper with 6 employees?) So much for that campaign tool.
Al Gross posed as the only one who could beat Sarah Palin. He claimed he was just a few points above her in the polls and raised a ton of money. I can’t tell you how many outside-Alaska friends gave Al money. They had no idea I was even in the race!
And what polls? 50 people were running; there was no one left in the state to poll.
There was literally only one live public event and even then only 14 of us were invited to a resource-development oriented breakfast. This time we got two minutes.
To my very small credit, I got the only laugh of the campaign. We were lined up like horses at the start of the Kentucky Derby. I was sitting next to Sarah Palin. In her two minutes she mentioned to the audience she would be going to her Dad’s to help him rake leaves. I couldn’t help but blurt out “Raking leaves is a no-no.” Big laugh. OK, you have to read my columns (www.adn.com, on Fridays) to understand the hilarity. I advise against raking leaves and people knew it and they got the joke! It was the only time I got to show any chops in public. There simply and literally were no other opportunities. This was a painful campaign. Only one laugh!
I came in 7th. Al Gross dropped out. In the end, I did learn a few things--and isn’t that what is important?
I learned about FEC forms (ugh). I learned I don’t like walking districts to shake hands for votes in COVID times. I learned I have some very good and generous classmates and other friends. I learned how to describe my entire past life in a one minute radio ad. I learned I have a tolerant wife, which after almost 50 years I already knew. Oh, I also learned Santa Claus is much more popular than Mr. Garden Columnist.
In the end, I can only say I tried to do some civic duty. Fortunately the race went to a wonderful person, Mary Peltola. She is simply the finest politician (and I mean that in a good way) I have ever come across. She has screaming charisma, a shiny sense of humor, the empathy of a mother and the wisdom and the heart of a grandmother. Toss in that she is part Native Alaskan, and you have a person all Alaskans can be proud to have represent them in Washington. She is so good I am sort of glad I lost.
Lowenfels shares his gardening advice in his columns and in books:
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