The Time-Tested Foolproof Way to Elect Donald Trump

Coming Soon to a TV and Computer Screen Near You!    

Yesterday I promised some ad copy, texts of ads that would elect Donald Trump president.  The premise is simple and we don't have to predict it because we can remember it: the election of 2000.

Jill Stein is not as famous a brand as was Ralph Nader 100 days before the 2000 election which is a disadvantage for her and that is what these ads are intended to fix.   She has the advantage of a big starting point, the message and insurgency  of Bernie Sanders.   Bernie did not have a career as a Democrat. he was intentionally outside the Democratic Party and this election he ran as a candidate for the Democratic nomination but a critic of both political parties. 

He already sold the premise.  He said modern politics is corrupt, that the campaign finance system is corrupt, that people who work in that environment are fundamentally corrupted, and that Hillary was an adept player in that system and is therefore irredeemably corrupt personally. 
  

Samantha Bee Show

Sanders voters are a stretch for Hillary, but are lost to Trump, too.  The Sanders message is earnest good uncorrupted government while the Trump message is to smash all those prissy rules and take what's ours.    Sanders hates powerful Wall Street interests who bully American politics while Trump says he is indeed a powerful bully: our powerful bully.

The solution is to get a peel-off of progressive votes in the swing states from "hold your nose and vote for Hillary" to some other place.   Jill Stein is there: a progressive Green Party woman, the Nader of 2016.     Who would pay for these ads?   We will never know because SuperPACs will fund them.  Untraceable money.   If I had fifty million dollars to spend, and I wanted Tump to win, these are the kinds of ads I would put in front of voters in swing states, and I would advertise where young progressive voters would see them: The Daily Show, MSNBC, Samantha Bee, alternative newspapers, and the general media in college towns.   There are hundreds of people in America for whom fifty million dollars is a trifle.   I am not one of them.

AD # 1 Testimonial Ad, 30 seconds:    Context:  A 30-ish man in casual outdoorsy clothes (e.g. North Face jacket, blue jeans, in front of a Subaru hatchback or a Honda Civic or similar fuel efficient car or small SUV, possibly with a bicycle or kayak on the roof).  Find a real Sanders voter , not an actor to do the ad.

"I'm_______ from Boulder, Colorado.  I'm not an actor.  I'm real and I voted for Bernie Sanders in the primary.  Now a lot of people are pressuring me to vote for Hillary, but I just learned she still supports fracking and gets megabucks from the oil industry in campaign contributions. [Shaking his head]  Sorry Hillary.   I'm serious about the environment and I want my vote to go to someone I genuinely like and respect: Jill Stein."   [Fade to photo of Jill Stein with words: "Save the Planet" below]

AD #2 Testimonial Ad, 30 seconds:  Context: A 30-ish woman, moderately attractive but not distractingly so, with little makeup, in casual athletic attire, in front of a non-branded coffee store, holding a coffee cup.  Again, use an actual Sanders voter.

I"'m ________, from Columbus, Ohio.  I voted for Bernie but now I'm casting a proud vote for Jill Stein.  Bernie was right .  Hillary Clinton is part of a corrupt system.  How can Hillary possibly put Wall Street in its place when she personally, and her campaign, and the Clinton Foundation take millions from big banks.  [Shakes her head]  I can't do it.  I'm voting for Jill Stein.  She represents Bernie's values and my values. [Fade to photo of Jill Stein with words: "Regulate Wall Street."]"



The next three ads were suggested by frequent Guest Poster Thad Guyer:

AD #3: [Teacher in grade school classroom, girls more prominent in camera frame.]  I'm Anna Smith, and I'm a single issue voter-- I want to vote for the first woman President. [Then, enunciating slowly and pointedly--]. Win... or... lose! So far Hillary was my only choice. But why should I have to hold my nose to vote? Well, now I don't. Jill Stein is just the ticket I needed to feel good-- [quick glance back at the little girls at play] --about making history!

AD #4: [Wife in kitchen stiring tomato sauce, husband in background washing dishes. As she stirs--] I'm Janet Jones, and my husband over there [nods toward him at sink] asked "how can you vote for Jill Stein"-- ---"a newcomer with no executive experience", he says [imitating his deeper voice]. [Pause with happy whispy little stiring--] Well, I have never regreted my last vote for an inexperienced newcomer named Barrack Obama. Jill Stein could be that kind of leader from outside the establishment. Oh and I told him [playfully nodding toward husband still scrubbing] "LOL, dear, YOU'RE voting for Trump!" [Smiles into camera]. Stan and I-- we go for the outsiders.

AD #5:  [Video of global warming storms, fires and ranging waves against seawalls, with ominous sound track. Text appears in fade in fade out sequence: "Global warming". Fade out. "It's real". Fade out. "Trust Hillary to pick the environment over her corporate donors?" Cut to woman fishing on serene lake alone in her boat in fisherman garb casting her rod, who now answers that question--]

"Yeah right, Hillary will pick us over her donors. I'm Joie Moore, and climate change is my issue. Jill Stein is my solution".